Today’s online guy

Who really wants a message from a guy with the profile picture of him with a snake round his neck…?

WHO..???? Not me that’s for sure 🐍🐍🐍

I can’t begin to tell you what people put as a profile picture! In fact I don’t know what’s normal anymore!!

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Back to the guy couple

So I am still plodding on with my usual day to day business working and the usual home commitments and then after 830 pm is usually when I check in with my friends family and my online life that is currently going on.

As you may recall I had been invited to a cosy secluded cottage by two older guys saying they wanted to “treat me”. I had replied with a very polite no.

Anyway I thought that was it but here’s how the next conversation played out: 

Dear red24, thank you for replying as we rarely get replies so surely you must be a little bit curious, even though you said no. With that said I’d like to tempt you further I’d like to propose the following : 

I can arrange a car to collect you saving you the trouble of driving and you could have some champagne on route?

When you arrive we will have a candle lit bath waiting for you with some more champagne and nibbles 

We will lay out some new bath towels and a robe in your own bedroom like we said

There you can get dressed in whatever you prefer, a dress would be lovely though 😉 whilst we prepare a lovely cooked meal for you in our homely kitchen 

How does that sound? We look forward to hearing from you soon. 

Me… WOW!!! 

Dishy Dave!

Dishy Dave is sending pics now…

I woke up yesterday morning to a multi media message from him and OMG, put it this way, I didn’t even need to reach for my glasses…. there he was totally naked, his manhood stood to attention with him grabbing it in one hand and without sounding crude – it was HUGE! 

Now these days this might not come as a surprise as it seems men love to send so called dick pics and still to this day I really don’t get why! When will they learn that most women, or at least ones I know would probably rather see a picture of a dress, or shoes or flowers..am I right ladies?

Anyway, after seeing this picture I didn’t know what to say, was good morning enough? He is obviously going to want me to say something about his manhood and so I had to think this through carefully! If I say oh yeah that’s a hot picture or wow give me more or something along those lines I am going to get a inundated with more and then he’s going to want ones of me 😱. 

Maybe I should ignore it? 

Ok so not wanting to encourage this too much I give a simple “WOW”, good morning. 

In the meantime I have replied to the retired architect and his boyfriend on the weekend cottage saga. “Hi and thanks for your message but if I am honest I am not really into spending the weekend with 2 total strangers but I wish you luck on here”.

Date Guy

Here it is my second date with Mr Big Photographer. I’ve been taunted all week from my work colleagues about having to sit for a risky photo shoot and to watch out for a large lens making an appearance!

So we are going for dinner tonight…. He has offered to pick me up but I am not really digging him knowing where I live really! I am getting the bus to town so I can enjoy a glass of Vino. I figure I should make more of an effort on the clothing front as its dinner so I have a skirt on and heels.

I jump on the bus and text my friends to let them know where I am if I need a getaway, this doesn’t mean I am being negative but you never know right…?

So here we are in the Thai place that I LOVE! Its a quaint little place and the lighting is soft which is always a bonus. Again he looks nice and the chat was going really well until a little bit of digging from him started to surface. Firstly hes upset I haven’t told him what office I work in and now hes a little bit narky about not letting him pick me up…! I tried to blow it off and ordered another wine!

We continue to have dinner and chat about his home in Wales etc, he lives here during the week and goes back to Wales on the weekends and then he invites me to go the next time I am free, a nice gesture I felt but maybe a bit soon…. my own personal thoughts is that I think a whole weekend is quite a lot of time after a couple of dates, then there is the whole bedroom/nakedness issue.

Its now getting late and he suggests going for a drink, I was already feeling a bit tipsy but thought what the hell. We go to a pub nearby and on the walk he swoops in for a kiss…!!! I was a bit surprised but also where he caught me unawares my glasses smacked him by the eye! Ooops I thought. So here we were kissing in the street – I felt like a teenager!

On to the pub an another drink and then he says “let me come back to yours tonight”

Fancy a three way….

As I was saying in my last post this is the first message I received that I have never forgotten and I still remember the wording, it was a professionally written message and the content not only shocked me but I hadn’t  laughed so much in ages. So here it was:

I hope this message doesn’t offend you first and foremost.

Good evening, My name is Colin and I am a successful Architect now retired. My partner Alex too is a successful business man. We live in an idyllic cottage in the New Forest and we can provide photographs on request, it really beautiful and the setting very relaxing. We realise you are a lot younger than us but hopefully this wont be an issue, after all they say experience is everything.

We are looking for a lady like yourself to come and spend the weekend here with us. We can guarantee you the time of your life. We are both keen cooks and we will wait on you hand and foot, you wont have to do a thing. We will treat you like a princess and we are both experts in massage. We can guarantee a restful weekend full of surprises and you will leave happy. We have a fantastic wine selection too if that is your preference.

We love your look and I hope you consider our genuine offer. Like I said we can send over photographs of where you will be staying, you will have your own bedroom.

I stopped, stared at the message again and then sat there with what was probably an open mouthed face…

What do I reply to that….

 

 

 

Dishy Dave :-)

Back to Dave, I am going to name him Dishy Dave as he was! Dave was still on the back burner and I still knew that he was probably a total player but didn’t care as it wasn’t affecting me actually fair play to him as why not when you are hot, free and single!

Anyway Dave started sending pictures, at first they were very posy pictures which were very pleasing to the eye if honest, pictures of him in shorts and NO top!!! What woman wouldn’t find this attractive…right? I flirted with him of course , but then obviously he wanted me to reciprocate.. arghhh I thought, no way not pictures! Plus my phone had the crappiest camera ever so I would need to get my digital camera out and faff around uploading etc, so I palmed him off BUT I knew it was going to come back to haunt me so in the meantime I tried to lose a bit of the flirty chat.

I have to get ready for my next date with photographer guy anyway so at this point this was a more viable option!

I was till cruising along online and so was photographer and I was cool about this after all this wasn’t an exclusive thing. I logged on to my dating account and I received a message from an older guy that I will never forget, I still to this day remember it down to a T…